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EAST ENGLAND MASTERS
MORETON HALL, BURY ST EDMUNDS
20-22 SEPT 2008
RESULTS
Martin Pearse, England Squash Masters Chairman, reports ... |
Pot luck for 100+ squash players that
the first indoor Regional of the year should take place on the
nicest two days of the whole Summer. When I think of the cricket
matches we had rained off….!
However, Moreton Hall is the place to be if you have to play squash,
every possible facility available including both indoor and outdoor
pools. Though poor Peter didn’t bargain for some lowlife vandalising
his new, extremely expensive cover for the heated outdoor pool,
rendering it inoperable in the first few days of its use. The Police
apparently know who it is, DNA was found on some chewing gum, but
hey, Cherie bought in the Human Rights Act to protect our under
classes from being unfairly picked on, so it’s likely nothing will
come of it (sorry if, to some Guardianistas, I sound like Richard
Littlejohn - even the latter would be unable to print some of the
‘punishments’ suggested by some of our elderly electorate present!)
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You've been "PARS-ED"
To the Squash. Some very, very high quality matches and PARS. I have
to state here, we did an analysis. Virtually every match scorecard
was “PARS-ED” afterwards. Horrible reading for squash lovers.
ALL matches except for a couple of 9/0 9/2 9/0 jobs were AT LEAST
33% shorter, eg. one match - 79 rallies to finish the match on PARS
instead of 126 for the actual. In one case and completely
coincidentally, it involved yours truly, the match on PARS to 11
would have been over in just 20 minutes, in actual fact the real
match took 67 minutes!
My opponent, one Geoffrey Howes Esq, is one of the best exponents of
comebacks, so at 2/9 0/9 5/8 he no doubt would have been very p….d
off at that exact moment as he would have already been in the
dressing room if PARS had been the scoring method. 40 odd minutes
later, the score was 8-8 in the fifth and the gallery really had
their monies worth, 10 match balls before the victor emerged. Not
that, in the grand scheme of things, it did me much good.
There was a long discussion afterwards and unless I am mistaken, the
vast majority of Masters want to keep the normal scoring. Has Tennis
changed? No!! It’s a political decision and it has not been trialled
properly yet for amateur enthusiasts. I spoke at length to a friend
of mine who used to train with the person who actually introduced
PARS, one Gawain Briars, and he categorically stated it was only
introduced for Professionals, to lengthen their playing careers,
shorten their matches for their health and TV and a bit more
besides.
It was not introduced for Masters, who need all the exercise they
can get.
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The Results
The Ladies saw Sam Willis win both the 35’s and 40’s as she
beat both Jo Cooper and Susie Scarlett. In the latter match Jo won
3/1.
In the O45’s Fran Wallis blitzed all and sundry, in total
losing 19 points. Fran would have a heart attack if PARS was
introduced, cutting down valuable time smashing the ball to the
back! Second was Tammy Bennett.
In the O50’s Mother Hen was Karen Hume, whilst newcomer Anita
Dixon came second, beating Sue Vine and Bett Dryhurst.
The Mens O70’s saw Lance Kinder eke out a 3/1 over local hero
Malcolm Gilham, in the Semi apparently some controversy,
personally I can’t believe it unless Lance hadn’t had his usual diet
of neat caffeine. Martin Sweeney took out Tony Seare 3/2 but found
Lance just a little too crafty.
The O65’s saw an upset on paper, Adrian Wright coming second
to Tony Clifford. But your Webmaster has been off for a
number of weeks after two eye operations. His room-mate, one BF
Dave, hoped the operation would make him less grumpy. However, he
always cheers up as the day goes on. Mike Clemson beat Len
Froggatt with a bit to spare and after a first game loss, held the
whiphand over Tony Clifford in the Final.
The O60’s saw National 55 Closed winner Howard Cherlin making
his 60’s Regional debut. After seeing off BFD and yours truly he
encountered Barry Featherstone in the Final. All Barry’s
legendary training (every day from 2-4.30) was not enough to
displace Howard who has never ever done a court sprint in his life,
allegedly. But it was a tough match and it could have gone either
way, but Howard showed his class with some amazing backhand volley
kills and nicks. Earlier on, Chris Ansell had given Barry a
terrible fright leading 2/0 and 5/3, an iffy decision allowing Barry
a toe-in which he didn’t relinquish, from that moment on he relaxed
and held the whip hand.
In the O55’s No 1 seed Paul Reader crashed out to Lichfield
based Irishman William Todd 9/7 9/2 10/8 who had earlier beaten Jez
Horrocks who inturn had beaten David Cooper. Alistair Niven
scraped past Peter Smith and took out Brian Hawkes, but Ian
Holmes was too sharp. The Final saw Todd i/c for a bit, but
Holmes eight Saturday night pints (real ale, not the gassy stuff)
cushioned him and the Desborough player won yet another Regional!
The O50’s saw all the physiological problems that all squash players
have somewhere, surface. Only with PARS, neither of these matches
would have been nearly so entertaining. Stuart Hardy has
never beaten Mark Cowley, Mark Cowley has never beaten
Duleep Adihetty. But both nearly, nearly did. Stuart should have
beaten Mark and Mark should have beaten Duleep. At 8-5 in the fifth,
he knelt in prayer. The ref asked if he was injured. ‘Just a little
bit.’ These were two nailbiting matches to watch, highly enjoyable,
though not to the losers.
The O45’s saw some fantastic games. John Cordeaux, back on
the scene after a serious illness, v Chris Harland. The flying
Doctor ran miles and miles but the classy Cordeaux took it 3/1. A
Semi a few hours later was probably too much, Greg Loach
showing his match winning skills 9/7 10/8 7/9 10/8. Greg Pearman
was however, too good for all and sundry, losing a handful of
points. Another new face was Eamonn Price, back after a
successful Financial career in the City and retired at 45! Now he
can concentrate on squash and he will be a contender for the future
for sure.
The O40’s saw the probable best match of the tournament (and there
were some real crackers), Cliff Martindale and Peter
Gunter. A pleasure to watch. Again, if it was PARS, Pete would
have won 3/0. As it was, Cliff 0/9 2/9 down took the next two 9/5
9/5. Peter however, is made of stern stuff having trained
religiously for the World Masters. David Youngs entertained
the gallery with his victory over Steve McLoughlin but he
didn’t get the time needed as Gunter kept him deep in the corners
retrieving everything and the Middlesex player won 3/0, edging the
tight second game.
Lastly in the O35’s, Kevin White took yet another Regional,
not without a fright, as Jamie Goodrich took him all the way
to the fifth. Jamie plays squash like he drives his car (a Noble 400
to the uninitiated) and he doesn’t beat himself, as some of us are
capable of doing. So Kevin had to work his socks off and never ever
has he been so tired as he was at 8/3 in the fifth. Jamie had
earlier beaten Darren Gray 3/1 who had removed the ever smiling Glen
Ragou. Newcomer Steve Townsend gave a statement of intent, giving
Kevin a real fright 10/8 9/2 2/9 9/6.
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Finally, thanks go to Peter
Alexander and his staff for all their help and hospitality, the
SRA Refs and all the spectators. See you at Swindon!
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