With the PSL season in tatters and feeling a bit down, it was a splendid tonic when my old friend Garnish dropped an e-mail into my box inviting me to go to Canary Wharf to watch some proper squash.

It did seem to be rather a long journey from the rural beauty of Chichester, and I recall Mr Genever and I making a similar journey to somewhere called Limbs Club which had been a bit scary, but nevertheless I girded my not insubstantial loins and sallied forth into the wonder that is the British Railways Network. Only it isn’t – well, it certainly isn’t joined up. How can I buy a ticket from Scot Rail to travel from Chichester to London?

Anyway, having conquered the intricacies of the World Wide Web – what is wrong with having a Chichester Web? – I boarded the train for the journey. Now this was a shock to the system – what happened to the diddlee dee diddlee dah of the wheels clacking over the rails? Where was the supercilious guard challenging the validity of my ticket? And, wonders of modern day customer service – a smartly dressed young chap from Poland bringing a cup of coffee to my seat.

No delays later, and as quick as a stroll down the road to the Festival Theatre, I was alighting at a bright, clean station called Waterloo. This must be a different one to that which I remember, maybe ISS have the cleaning contract as it is almost a pleasant experience. The jubilee line ran on time, the carriage was clean, and shock is starting to set in.

The escalator at Canary Wharf was long and slow, but emerging into the sunshine – yes, sunshine – it was a fascinating sight that lay before me. Massive buildings (by Cicestrian standards anyway) with flashing signs, an almost complete absence of litter in the most impressive square, no buskers, no pigeons, what has happened with the World?

So you start to get the picture – everything was running as planned, and I was about to witness the Eventis machine in action, or was this the bit that was going to restore my faith in the World? Arriving at the entrance, there was Garnish in his best bib and tucker opening the door for yours truly, and presenting me with a VIP pass for the event! I was a bit disappointed it wasn’t one of those badges with a clip on that you attach to your person emblazoned with “Access all Areas”, but Tim assured me it meant just that.

My first impression was how small it is compared to the picture you get from the web site pictures – the roof is amazing, the views amazing, the location amazing – in fact the whole thing is absolutely amazing. This must be one of the best venues for watching squash, certainly from upstairs in the VIP bar, and Chip told me it was quite like New York before you know what. Another sold-out night, and I was to find out why later on.

Having networked with a number of old chums, as one does, it was time for the entertainment – and what a show it was. Another of the old boys of the game was due on court with Thierry Lincou, namely one John White. Now there are some concerns being expressed behind the scenes (and I tell you this confidentially as we wouldn’t want everyone to know) that he isn’t really taking this seriously. Despite having a reputation of being a fearsome twatter of the ball, his fastest recorded twat this year is a tame 142 mph – only 30 mph below his record. What a poof! I reckon Maximus Black of PSL presenting fame could beat that. Mind you Thierry is no respecter of the rubber – he apparently got close to this but it didn’t seem like it.

So off we went – the powerhouse that is White slugging some unbelievable winners – the outcome of some you would associate with a drop-shot, but played so hard the ball just dies in the front corner. Plus some unbelievable cross-court nicks – but not hit from shoulder height like the trademark Vole slaps, stunning power from knee height and squeaking out of the nick. 5-0 in 30 seconds and it seemed like there would be plenty of time for a natter and a beer before going home. 11-8 actually misrepresents the game as White never looked in trouble, and it was good squash from Lincou that got the score that close – White just looked as though he couldn’t make a mistake, which is, of course, the Jekyll to the Hyde that we were seeing.

The second game was the very Jekyll himself. Someone had turned off the brain power and it was tin after tin after tin (to misquote Mr Mourinho). 4-1 then 6-2 then 8-5 and it was Lincou in control and seemingly unstoppable. It was then 10-7 and game ball 3 times on his serve before the old fella decided enough was enough and slapped through to a 12-10 for 2-0. The 3rd was pretty much the same as the 1st, and it was 6-1 and all over, but then Lincou started working White around the court more, and the big fella was starting to show the effects of his previous 5 setters. Some great athleticism from both players but game to Lincou, and could he pull off what looked like a shock win after the first 30 minutes?

The fourth was stunning, and every point was played as if it was the last one. At 6-5 to White, there was a dodgy let, then at 7-6 an amazing rally ended with White doing the full splits, at which point 7 grown men fainted, an exquisite drop shot, then a superb cross-court slap, Lincou battled on to get to 11-10, and it ended with a justified decision from the ref to give Lincou a 2-2 that had hardly seemed likely earlier.

The final game was just incredible, and at 5-1 to Lincou it all looked over, but White just wouldn’t give up and slapped winner after winner, including 1 outrageous rally where he was out of it so many times, and finally picked off a loose drive from Lincou into an empty court. This was squash at its finest, and it all ended in trademark fashion with another of those knee high slappers that never got off the floor. Phew! What a match. I chatted with the big man afterwards, and he seemed remarkably fresh, and I think he really took on board my suggestions that he should be a little less timid on court and try and hit a few winners. He said thanks, and that he would – so look out Canary Wharf – you could be in for a serious treat tonight.

The Willstrop/Matthew match was predicted by 1 compere as a 2 hour job – wrong Al. 44 minutes, with an 18 minute 2nd taking almost half of it. Matthew never looked in it, and Willstrop should have plenty in the tank for tonight’s final.

If this isn’t the best place to watch squash I don’t know where is. The organisation was superb, all I could hear was people saying what a great evening it was, the sponsors looked to enjoy themselves, and it was great to see the King of Bling looking so fit and healthy. I did suggest that he might like to get in training if he really wanted to get into the Chichester PSL team next season, but the look suggested that it wasn’t going to happen – its not too late to change your mind Pete!

So thanks guys for the invite – I reckon you should get selling the tickets for next year now because there should be plenty of demand after the squash I saw tonight! And if you haven’t been to Canary Wharf for the ISS Classic – get a move on as there are very few tickets left for tonight.