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This site is no longer
used for the Northumbria Leagues
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 the Alternative rules of Squash
OK, so not everyone knows the 'proper' rules, even if they
profess to do so. There exist though, some 'unofficial' rules (or are they laws?)
which every squash player in the world knows ...
YOUR rules | Your Additions | the REAL Rules
GENERAL
 | the harder you try to hit the nick the less likely you are to
actually hit it |
| you are more likely to hit the nick by luck than judgement |
| most 'nick' shots don't hit the nick |
| it's easier to hit the tin than the nick |
| you never hit the nick when you really need to |
| you hit the nick more often in practice than in matches
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SHOTS
| better to hit the right shot off the wrong foot than the wrong shot
off the right foot |
| the best shot is a stroke of luck |
| the easiest shots are the ones you fluff |
| your flashiest shots cost you most points |
| you will play your best drop-shots when your opponent is at the front |
| if the whole of the court is open and your opponent trapped in the
corner you will hit the tin |
| mishits will win you more points than winning shots
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the BIG POINTS
the SERVICE
| the serve is the stroke you fight hardest to win, and give away the
easiest |
| when a lob serve feels like a winner it usually goes out |
| if it's in he'll say he wasn't ready |
| you'd do the same if he'd served |
| if he starts serving overarm you'd better watch out |
Staying the Course
| whenever you think 'this must be hurting him more than it is me'
he'll be thinking the same |
| the longest half hours of your life will be on a squash court |
| a rally that goes on, goes on and on |
| the rallies get longer as you get tireder |
| the best moment in a match is when the knock on the door comes - as
long as you're losing |
| losing is more tiring than winning |
Covering the ground
| it's more tiring going front-to-back than side-to-side |
| moving fast only works if you go in the right direction |
| he who does most running usually loses |
| running can slow you down |
| the court gets bigger the longer the game goes on |
| the quickest way to wear out a pair of shoes is squash |
Squash BALLS
| <non-marking
balls do |
| long-play balls don't |
| no two balls ever play the same |
| one that plays just how you like will break in the first game |
| they never break when you remember to bring a spare |
| they always break just at the end of the knock-up or at 8-8 in the
fifth |
Squash RACKETS
| no racket is the same as any other racket |
| the newer the racket the greater the chance of it breaking |
| somewhere there's a perfect racket for you, but you'll never find it
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| you'll be happy with your new racket until you discover you can't
play any better than with your old one |
| banging your racket against the wall doesn't usually make you play
any better |
| <your
racket is more likely to be why you lost than you |
| the more expensive the racket the less likely you're a good player
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The LEAGUE
ARRANGING League Games
| he won't be able to play when you want to play |
| when you can both play there won't be any courts |
| you'll end up playing when neither of you wants to play |
| everyone complains that they always have to ring everyone else
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| the person who rings up is more likely to lose |
BOOKING a court
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